Breakdown or Breakthrough?

Last week I felt like I was on the edge of a breakdown or a breakthrough, and I wasn’t sure which it was.  Could it be both? They feel paradoxically the same, and different.  The same because I felt somewhat out of control, both high and low energy (anxious and lethargic), nervous and excited.  Different because to me a breakdown is a surrender; not a giving up, but a surrender of “I can’t do it like this anymore” and a breakthrough is a new awareness and level of being.   And Bam…that was it. That was the awareness I needed, the message I had waiting for.   Surrender is needed to break through. 

But what does surrender even mean? The Oxford dictionary has two definitions.  One is “To give over power, control or possession of another, especially by control or force.”  That is not this.  Definition 2 is “To give ONESELF over to something.”  That seems pretty spot on.

It reminds me of the book, The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer, which I read years ago.  It’s about letting go of attachment, and how surrendering is key to a peaceful and harmonious life.  

By letting go of fears and even desires, and allowing things to unfold we create space to co-create.  This is not about not having goals, or being lazy or just waiting for things to happen without taking action.  This is about giving oneself over to the fact we don’t know everything, and we never will.  It’s about giving oneself over to being in service for the purpose of fulfilling our higher purpose, using our gifts and natural talents, and asking not what can I get, but what can I give.  

We’ve probably all heard the phrase “You are trying too hard.”  We can make things harder than they need to be by pushing, overscheduling, overworking, being busy but not really productive, always in motion and never still.   Without space, and a breath, how is the universe going to find a place to bring you more, bring abundance, co-create with you? What’s going to give, because something will if you don’t make the space.  Often it’s our health or our relationships that suffer.  The driving action is a masculine energy, and the feminine is a receptive, collaborative, nurturing energy.  Let’s lean into the feminine.

Once in a while my boyfriend calls me “busy bee.”  The first time he did that early in our relationship I told him never to call me that again.  And I realized it triggered me because that is not who I want to be.  When he does it now, with a smile and a wink, it is a gentle reminder that I am doing too much, and to slow down.  And I appreciate the reminder, if not the name.  Sometimes we need a reminder to get out of our own way.

So how can we surrender, without feeling like we are giving up?  Remembering the definition of surrender is giving oneself over to something, not giving up.  So really, we just have to decide what we want to give ourselves over to.  It’s a big question, but it doesn’t need to be complicated.  What do you want to give yourself over to? Take a few minutes and write it down or write your thoughts around this.

If you’ve been:

*Feeling like a hamster in a wheel,

*Working up one side and down the other

*Throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks

*Feeling overwhelmed and under resourced

*Frustrated, maybe even irritable 

*Scared, nervous, worried or anxious about your business, money, or career

*Your self-care has gone down and your self-criticism has gone up

Then I implore you to consider the act of surrender, and what you might be ready to give yourself over to.  What are you ready to make room for, to commit to, to allow?  

If you’d like some support with this or other things challenging you, book a Discovery Call (button below) with me to talk through it and learn more about how I support women who are ready to surrender and serve.  We are heart-led leaders making a difference.  

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